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[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new...more

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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And t...more

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Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is defin...more

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I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I r...more

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You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can...more

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You know what these “God Bless America” people oughta do? They oughta check with that Jesus fellow they’re so crazy about. They’re always talking abou...more

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I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.

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There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

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Life is sacred"? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death! Has been for thousands of yea...more

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I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percen...more

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Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is...more

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I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interes...more

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Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.