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If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....

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The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

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Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

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I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

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Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

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A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.

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Know your load. That’s rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins out in front of me one at a time. I’m not going t...more

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Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

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Battery Park resonates with lust as the sun approaches its zenith. A primal impulse takes hold of the young couples strolling the gravel walkways, the...more

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Starshine’s greatest challenge is deciding whether a woman is too young to soothe or too old to shame. Handling the men is much easier. They may feign...more

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Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself...more

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Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one pe...more

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Nixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like some lovable but bigoted uncle you tolerated at...more