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I have been scientifically studying the traits and dispositions of the “lower animals” (so-called,) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositi...more

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You may say what you want to, but in my opinion she had more sand in her than any girl I ever see; in my opinion she was just full of sand.

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Children have but little charity for each other's defects.

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I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

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The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

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The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French.

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It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt

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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

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The government of my country snubs honest simplicity but fondles artistic villainy, and I think I might have developed into a very capable pickpocket ...more

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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

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Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.

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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.

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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.

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The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet...more