"

We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors.

"

I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!

"

This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do y...more

"

Of all the consumer products, chewing gum is perhaps the most ridiculous: it literally has no nourishment – you just chew it to give yourself somethin...more

"

Boggle with sex addicts is up there with go-kart racing with junkies.

"

Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I ...more