"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.

Photo by Ákos Szabó

Photo by Ian Turnell










If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
More W. C. Fields quotes
"We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. W...
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
"Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.