I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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Ninety percent of living is just showing up.
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There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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I do not believe in an afterlife although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise, yo...
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of y...
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I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you k...
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There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible....
