Jay London Quotes

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out...

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

I saw a stationery store move.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.