Lily Tomlin Quotes

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

If love is the answer could you please rephrase the question?

Remember we're all in this alone.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.

If I had known what it would be like to have it all I might have been willing to settle for less.

Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic...

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes the...

Why is it when we talk to God we are said to be praying and when God talks to us we're said to be s...

We're all in this together - by ourselves.

I've always wanted to be somebody but I see now I should have been more specific.

To me, 'sexual freedom' means freedom from having to have sex.

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

If love is the answer could you rephrase the question?

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.

Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us we’re schizoph...

Just remember, we're all in this alone.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I grew up in a time when women didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old mai...

For fast-acting relief try slowing down.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

I think my politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many differ...

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

The road to success is always under construction

Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo...

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current i...

Many times I sit back and say, 'I can't believe that this is my life!' Other times, I feel self-sati...

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

There will be sex after death we just won't be able to feel it.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's t...

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

I have always wanted to be somebody but I see now I should have been more specific.

We're all in this together ... alone.