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Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

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I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

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You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

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As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You...more

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I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

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I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

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There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late.

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Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't see...more

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I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin

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You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

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You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

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I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.