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Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

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Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

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When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

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Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Nap...more

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Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

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You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

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I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

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You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

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Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

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I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the...more

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Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

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I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

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Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't see...more

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You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.