"Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
~ H. L. Mencken ~












More H. L. Mencken quotes
"A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.
"The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
"If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder.
"A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
"In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. Thi...
"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.
"Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.
"Nevertheless, it is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
"I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of government ever endured by mankind...
"Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem—neat, plausible, and wrong.
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
"What I'd like to read is a scientific review, by a scientific psychologist--if any exists--of 'A Scientific Man and the Bible'. By what route do other...
"Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
"It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That...