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(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?

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(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

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The shortest distance between two people is a smile.

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Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

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I'd like to thank my parents for making this night possible. And my children for making it necessary.

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One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angr...more

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I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.