"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Photo by Ákos Szabó

Photo by Ian Turnell










You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
More W. C. Fields quotes
"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
"I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
"Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.