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He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to exp...more

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He only drinks when he gets depressed,' said Carrot. 'Why does he get depressed?' 'Sometimes it's because he hasn't had a drink.

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There's one thing you can say for air pollution, you get utterly amazing sunrises.

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You see a wile, you thwart. Am I right?

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The land around Ankh-Morpork is fertile and largely given over to the cabbage fields that help to give the city its distinctive odor.The gray light of...more

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Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice."There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. "We dinna...more

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Quite amazing, isn’t it, Mister Lipwig?’ he said cheerfully through the smoke. ‘Though isn’t it a pity that they can only run on rails? I can’t imagin...more

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Cats, Dog considered, were clearly a lot tougher than lost souls

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Er, excuse me,' said the man as Nanny Ogg turned away, 'but what is that on your shoulders?''It's. . . a fur collar,' said Nanny.'Excuse me, but I jus...more

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The only things known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Weedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have ...more

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Of course, to be fair, that was a parent's job. The world was so full of sharp bends that if they didn't put a few twists in you, you wouldn't stand a...more

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IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT /MEANT/ TO BE SAFE.

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Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.

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I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was th...more

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Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad.