Yous Quotes

Better to be king for a night than a schmuck for a lifetime.

I want to thank everybody who made this day necessary.

I explained to him I had simple tastes and didn't want anything ostentatious no matter what it cost...

I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion I think it must be gratitude.

The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned.

I've had a wonderful evening . . . but this wasn't it.

Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

I really don't deserve this but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Ladies and gentlemen you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarka...

I forgot they were talking about me. They sound so wonderfully convincing.

If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted I beg his pardon.

Adam was the only man who when he said a good thing knew that nobody had said it before him.

I thank you for not snoring.

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.