Josh Billings Quotes

About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgme...

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.

If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any s...

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

As a general thing when a woman wears the pants in a family she has a good right to them.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient too.

When a man gets talking about himself he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable p...

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

Love looks through a telescope envy through a microscope.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist - it reduces him to ...

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it you will find it as the old woman did her lost specta...

Men mourn for what they have lost women for what they ain't got.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.

It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't...

Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost specta...

To bring up a child in the way he should go travel that way yourself once in a while.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

Money will buy a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Nature never makes any blunders when she makes a fool she means it.

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorr...

Faith is the soul riding at anchor.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

A dog Is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry t...

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself and then deliberately gets into.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to h...

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful t...

As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.

Be like a postage stamp-stick to one thing until you get there.

It is the little things that fret and worry us you can dodge an elephant but not a fly.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of ...

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man without lowering him in his estimation and yours too.

As scarce as truth is the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.

Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient one too.

When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice he wants and I give it to him.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you do hold well.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.

My advice to those who are about to begin in earnest the journey of life is to take their heart i...

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.