Paula Poundstone Quotes

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer...

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up 'cause they're looking f...

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone ...

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up - 'cause they're looking...

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over...

It is my wish to die of unique causes, perhaps in a high-speed tricycle crash, a bizarre stapling in...

Deep-rooted happiness may require a sense of purpose. If I don't feel that I am in some small way co...

I fall short of her standards. She made me buy cat food that hasn't been tested on animals. My cats ...

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box of...

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat...

People need each other. Our well-being is tightly tethered to the well-being of people we do not kno...

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense ...

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just...

There are those wonderful moments of clarity in life when one is reminded how irreparably flawed we ...