Humorous-quotations Quotes

Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.

So that's the telephone? They ring, and you run.

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt

...there occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on m...

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy...

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgment.