Ogden Nash Quotes

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whene...

Poets aren't very useful because they aren't consumeful or very produceful.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Were it not for frustration and humiliationI suppose the human race would get ideas above its statio...

...I would not engage the wombatIn any form of mortal combat.

Parsley is gharsley.

Everybody who has a baby thinks everybody who hasn't a baby ought to have a baby,Which accounts for ...

If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

He who has never tasted jail Lives well within the legal pale, While he who's served a heavy sentenc...

How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle,And it is the result of a certain turbulence in ...

Very Like a WhaleOne thing that literature would be greatly the better forWould be a more restricted...

To keep your marriage brimming,With love in the loving cup,Whenever you're wrong, admit it;Whenever ...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenev...

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

I am tarred and feathered with Time.

One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;She thinks she scolds be...

Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buyi...

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Here lies my past Goodbye I have kissed it Thank you kids I wouldn't have missed it.

Higgledy piggledy, my black hen,She lays eggs for gentlemen.Gentlemen come every dayTo count what my...

Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Parsely is gharsley.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Senescence begins And middle age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends.

Middle age: when you're sitting at home on Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it is...

There are people who are very resourceful At being remorseful And who apparently feel that the best...

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin with a grin.

If called by a panther Don't anther.

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buyi...

In the world of mules there are no rules.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who neve...

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make u...

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone e...

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Progress might have been all right once but it's gone on too long.

Here's a good rule of thumb Too clever is dumb.

In the world of mulesThere are no rules.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Purity is obscurity.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach And it is much more interest...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope i...

The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure.

The Bronx? No Thonx!

Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone...

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a cl...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the co...